Tuesday, April 17, 2012

On Defiance

"Oh, hey Mom. You didn't want all these books all over the floor? Here. Why don't I give you a cute look. Is it okay then?"

Last night when we got home from daycare, I put Liam in his high chair to eat his usual afternoon snack, Annie's Bunny Grahams. Liam started throwing the bunnies off the tray.

"No, Liam," I said.

He dangled one more graham over the side of the tray.

"Liam, I said 'no'," I said again.

He looked at me, gave me a little smile, and dropped it, as if it was his one last act of defiance before finishing the grahams.

Liam is a pretty good-natured kid, but after much debate, Craig and I decided it's important to set certain limits for him. I've had a hard time deciding where to draw the line, though. While I think it's important to allow him room to explore and experiment, at some point he needs to know which behaviors are acceptable and which ones are not. I try to avoid being that mom who's constantly saying "no." I don't want to be the mother who's kid defies me because I'm overbearing and authoritarian. At the same time, it makes me feel really good when Mae tells me how glad she is that he listens when she has to tell him "no." (Even though in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "At least he listens to you.")

What about you? Where do you draw the line?


  1. I'm not sure yet, hahaha, I'm waiting on you to teach me ;)

  2. L thinks No is the funniest word around. Generally if I find myself saying no a lot about a particular situation or item, I just remove it. But some things cannot be removed.