Lately, Liam has started saying "thank you." It's one of my favorite milestones, and every time he says it, I try to let him know how much I appreciate that he says it. I know that one day the novelty will wear off. He probably won't say it as often as he does now. But, I want him to remember how important it is to be thankful.
Last night we had to do some grocery shopping. On the way home, Liam fell asleep in the car. When I picked him up from his car seat, he woke up but was still a little bit groggy. As we walked into the house, I looked down at him and said, "I love you, Liam." He looked up at me, still a little groggy, and said, "Thank you." All I could think about was how sweet and innocent he is, and how hard it is for me to bring him up in this world. As much as I keep telling myself that I can't keep worrying that he'll experience an unspeakable tragedy one day, It's something I've thought about all day today.
As Craig and I were talking about it this morning, he said, "That's why I'm glad we live here." I looked at him and said, "Craig, that town only had 27,000 people." It's one of those things that you wish you had never said. It makes you realize that it could be you. It could be your family. Some of those teachers were my age (or younger). Those students were just a few years older than Liam.
I've spent my day anxiously thinking about where I would hide my students if something had happened where I work. I've felt guilty, too. I've felt guilty thinking about those times when the mass casualty drills at work lasted longer than I would have liked, and I spent my time thinking "When is this going to end?" and wondering how I would make up the class time.
Perhaps, President Obama said it best when he said, "This evening, Michelle and I will do what I know every parent in America
will do, which is hug our children a little tighter, and we’ll tell
them that we love them, and we’ll remind each other how deeply we love
one another. But there are families in Connecticut who cannot do that
tonight, and they need all of us right now. In the hard days to come,
that community needs us to be at our best as Americans..."